i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
