brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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