i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
