Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
