the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
