Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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