would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
