We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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