so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
