capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
