He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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