i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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