Don't you send me to vm
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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