Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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