It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
