Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
