I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
