I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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