he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize