R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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