I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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