Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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