high people should be assigned attendants
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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