i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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