Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize