hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
