pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
