I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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