Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
