I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
