now i know why i became what i already was.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can I color on your dick again?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize