have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
