Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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