if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
