And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
