everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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