I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
