I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
