This is not my ceiling
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
