I just cut my nipple shaving
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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