You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
