I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
