Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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