i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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