this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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