I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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