quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
