When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
BRING THE BAGELS
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize