Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
