Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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