Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You did what with his pubic hair?
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