So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
