he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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