she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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