I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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