I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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