Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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