so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize