My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
