I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
