After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
