and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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