I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She tied me up with her honor cords...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
