She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
