You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
