it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
