K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
