Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize