But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
