Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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